February 17, 2006
Hello,
I have the difficult task of trying to track down our graduate students from the MFA program at the University of Notre Dame. I did a Google search and your website came up with Stuart Ross's name. Imagine that! Are you the same fellow who graduated from ND in 2003?
Thanks for any help you send.
Cheers,
Coleen Hoover
--
Creative Writing Program
Department of English
340 O'Shaughnessy Hall
University of Notre Dame
Notre Dame, IN 46556-5611
574-631-7526
http://www.nd.edu/~alcwp/
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17 February 2006
Dear Coleen...
Thanks for the note. Alas, I am a different Stuart Ross. My university career was a wash-out. But I have tons of books published. If I had a degree, I could probably get a great job as a creative writing instructor in a university.
If this other Stuart Ross doesn't turn up, perhaps you could send me a copy of his diploma, and I'd be all set!
Thanks, and good luck,
Stuart
Dear Mr. Ross,
ReplyDeleteYou seem to forget the four and a half years you were enrolled at Notre Dame. I was there at the same time and I distinctly remember all your college hi-jinx. There was the time you broke Tiny McGee's 37 year old record of swallowing 42 goldfish in under 60 minutes! Who could forget your seven mile streak to the chancellor's house? My personal favourite was the time you made out with Paula Maisonville while she had a bloody nose!!! Shocking turning the light on with you two rolling about in my new crimson sheets! Yes sir, Mr. Ross, there was never a more engaged student at our fine institution as yourself. By all means, I'll send you another copy of your diploma. Go forth and teach at Stanford or Harvard or Yale or Peoria. You deserve it. It's nothing but a little ordinary piece of ink stained paper...and you, kind sir, are one of a kind.
Sincerely,
Alter Ego
I remember him too... oh those college days.
ReplyDeleteWe had a couple of classes together and Stu was always the one who knew the answers to the most obscure questions in the Canadian Lit. class. There were only three of us in the class.
I hope he remembers me!